christmas was amazing! we spread out the opening of presents all day so dutch wouldn't lose interest with the ripping of paper and not want to open presents. in between presents we ate, cooked, took naps, watched veggietales, cuddled, played with new toys, read books, and took lots of pictures. my living room still resembles a disaster site, and i don't even want to think about the kitchen.
does this mean that i'm officially a grown up now? with my living room scattered with bits of wrapping paper and new toys and my kitchen counters still covered in flour and powdered sugar. not caring one bit about the mess. taking the time to push the new buttons on toys and cuddle with a book and stuffed animal while my little drifts in and out of sleep.
The Poet and i made our own traditions. we lounged in pjs and ate peanut butter coffee cake. we napped as a family and it's the first time that i really feel like this was 'our' christmas. before Dutch we had our little things that we did, but this year it was different. we're a little family and we decide what we do, who we share our day with, what movies we watch. we make christmas. we make it special and our traditions will last.
maybe it's the fact that i'm now the one who makes traditions that makes me feel grown up. when dutch is married and having his first christmas with his little family, our traditions are the ones that will help shape the ones he makes. just like traditions that The Poet and i have with our family color the traditions we started this year. maybe it's that i have this little boy, so full of smiles and giggles, that i'm responsible for that makes me feel grown.
whatever it is, i think i kind of like it. for years, i have never felt grown up. i'm 28 years old and just now starting to feel like an adult in most everything i do. i like where i am. who i am. i love the man i married and life i helped create.
life is good.
i hope your new year is full of living and loving!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
dishes
there is a certain time of day when i can’t do the dishes. it’s not because i am lazy or am procrastinating. the only thing that keeps me from the sink is the blinding sun. it starts its sinking right over my house and by five o’clock it is staring me right in the face as i plunge my hands into the hot, soapy water. i’ve tried pulling the shade down low, but that makes for boring work. i prefer to watch the occasional car make its way down the curvy hill and the limbs of the trees shake with the breeze. it would be a shame to cover up the window with a curtain.
so, i linger over dinner with The Poet. i drink an extra cup of coffee. i bang toys on the high chair tray with Dutch. i hold Dutch in the crook of my arm and turn page after page of my current book. until the sun starts dipping below the dark trees and starts scattering peach and lavender light across the sky. i don my apron and then i can turn on the hot water and squirt lime ajax into the steaming stream.
sometimes, after i wipe down my counters and The Poet is drying and putting away the dishes, i’ll wipe my hands on my apron and survey the kitchen. i feel like i’ve stepped back in time and i fancy myself a 1950’s housewife (except there is no way the The Poet would be helping with the dishes in the 50’s). i take pride in the cleanliness of my floors and counters. i swear, when i put on that apron i...i don’t know.
i wonder how long this will last. how long can i be content without connection to the world? i connect to the internet a couple times a week when i visit my parents. i check my voice mail while i’m hear as well. how long will i be able to put on that apron and feel transported and enjoy doing the dishes. i feel like a character out of book.
i know that it won’t last. i know that eventually i’ll just look at my dishes and REALLY not want to do them. i know that eventually i’ll look at my floors and not want to sweep them. but for now, i’ll keep pretending that i’m a character out of a Silas House novel and i’ll take pride in my squeaky clean dishes and floors.
so, i linger over dinner with The Poet. i drink an extra cup of coffee. i bang toys on the high chair tray with Dutch. i hold Dutch in the crook of my arm and turn page after page of my current book. until the sun starts dipping below the dark trees and starts scattering peach and lavender light across the sky. i don my apron and then i can turn on the hot water and squirt lime ajax into the steaming stream.
sometimes, after i wipe down my counters and The Poet is drying and putting away the dishes, i’ll wipe my hands on my apron and survey the kitchen. i feel like i’ve stepped back in time and i fancy myself a 1950’s housewife (except there is no way the The Poet would be helping with the dishes in the 50’s). i take pride in the cleanliness of my floors and counters. i swear, when i put on that apron i...i don’t know.
i wonder how long this will last. how long can i be content without connection to the world? i connect to the internet a couple times a week when i visit my parents. i check my voice mail while i’m hear as well. how long will i be able to put on that apron and feel transported and enjoy doing the dishes. i feel like a character out of book.
i know that it won’t last. i know that eventually i’ll just look at my dishes and REALLY not want to do them. i know that eventually i’ll look at my floors and not want to sweep them. but for now, i’ll keep pretending that i’m a character out of a Silas House novel and i’ll take pride in my squeaky clean dishes and floors.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
happy sunday!
we are getting ready to leave out little vacation nook, but i thought i'd wish you all a happy sunday! so...
happy sunday!
from the poet, dutch, and me
from the poet, dutch, and me
Friday, October 15, 2010
learning
there are many things that i have discovered while being completely disconnected from the world (i have no television or internet at our new place). i’m learning that devoting almost every waking moment to my son is as rewarding as anything that i have done in my life. i’m learning that i feel a great sense of accomplishment by doing seven loads of laundry and only running the dryer twice. thus making my laundry smell amazing and saving money because i didn’t run the dryer that much.
i’m learning to live slower. to take my time over dinner and to have conversations with my husband while we do the supper dishes. i’m learning what it means to actually be still.
i’m relearning what it sounds like to go to bed without hearing sirens and being able to see even the tiniest stars because it’s so dark that they even show up.
i guess i’m just learning to be a mom, a wife, and me. i’m learning to enjoy life to the fullest.
i’m learning that wearing a baby keeps us all happy and i can get soooo much more accomplished. i’m also learning what cries mean what. there is a certain hungry cry, a change me cry, a hold me please cry, and a i’m so sleepy cry. i often wonder how i’m learning all these things so much easier now. is it because i am closeted away from civilization and don’t have eight million distractions, or if it’s just my motherly instinct kicking in.
i’m learning to live slower. to take my time over dinner and to have conversations with my husband while we do the supper dishes. i’m learning what it means to actually be still.
i’m relearning what it sounds like to go to bed without hearing sirens and being able to see even the tiniest stars because it’s so dark that they even show up.
i guess i’m just learning to be a mom, a wife, and me. i’m learning to enjoy life to the fullest.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
moving
we're moving. we're all boxed up, made a gazillion trips from big town, ky to little town, ky. we've got one more trip to make. i'm excited to basically be out of big town. we've been living out of a bag the past couple of days as we are in between places. can't wait until it's all done!
we were planning on renting a place in little town for a few months while a place right beside my parents was being remodeled. WELLLLLL, at the last possible second The Poet and I decided to rent a medium-ish farm house with a SPECTACULAR yard, a place for a garden, horses next door, a porch swing, and a large kitchen. it's in the middle of no-where, very peaceful, and i'm a happy momma!
that's all for now!
Friday, September 17, 2010
fifty things i am grateful for
*after i read all these, i realized anytime that i was referring to silas, i said you. just fyi!
1. i will never forget cuddling with you and your daddy in our big bed while it rained. you snuggled your head into the crook of your daddy’s neck and i laid my sleepy head on his chest. that was a spectacular morning.
2. finding the perfect coffee mug in a thrift store and turning it into MY mug.
3. the way your eyes get heavy when i’m singing “time in a bottle” to you. you cozy against my chest and stare right through to my heart until those eyelids finally drop.
4. cheese and bread: the perfect breakfast, lunch, dinner, or snack
5. a blank page in my journal and a felt tipped pen. many a secret gets written into those pages. i’m glad that no one is tempted to read it.
6. reading the words of ky author, silas house. his words drip like honey: slow, smooth, and sweet.
7. my guitar sounds sweeter when there is a little one near by to listen to me play.
8. my ‘stoltzfus’ voice that carries farther than it probably should. i’ll teach my son to sing from the belly!
9. it is burned in to my memory the way dave’s arm feels when it is wrapped around me in our messy bed. the way his warm breath feels against my neck.
10. i pray that perfect coffee and misty mornings are in Heaven.
11. i love going in circles as i talk to my dad about this and that and life.
12. my aunt rosie’s whoopie pies. i hope those are in Heaven as well.
13. laying my head close to your little rosebud mouth just to hear your breath.
14. the the first time i touched you. rubbed my finger against your tiny face. Heaven.
15. oscillating fans. enough said.
16. sitting on a porch swing while a thunderstorm comes my way.
17. the cold tickle of an ice cold pop when it’s a million degrees outside.
18. eating my second breakfast with my little curled up beside me after he has eaten his second breakfast.
19. apple computers. they make my world go ‘round.
20. cuddling with my little family on clean sheets after a hot shower.
21. i look forward to the times when your little eyes finally close and i just have to ‘keep an ear on you.’ my attention then turns to your daddy, and his to me.
22. discovering that i actually like my coffee without all the sweet stuff. i even like it black! it’s amazing when you don’t drink the stuff for nine months how good it tastes when you finally do drink it.
23. reading the first chapter of a book while standing in the shop.
24. perusing the children’s section of the book shop with an actual child to buy for.
25. crooked smiles
26. even though i thought i would hate being home all the time, i’m loving this new stay at home momma life.
27. kettle corn
28. tripping on a pile of books because i don’t have any more room on the bookcases.
29. moving back to the hills. who would have ever thought i would be grateful for that?
30. remembering how my dad switched from daddy to preacher, in a snap, at my wedding.
31. sleeping at my mom’s house...if i’m sleeping there, that means she’s probably going to cook for me!
32. front loading washing machines
33. the ability to create
34. modern medicine. without it, my little would not be here.
35. being woke up by a squiggly baby and sharing a lovely view of the bluest sky ever.
36. making it work when it seems like it’s impossible.
37. friends who drop everything to listen to me gush about about my little’s first smile.
38. the color black, whether it is truly slimming or it’s just all in my head.
39. there is no way that i could forget the ‘dances’ that dave and i do in the kitchen. in our current situation, it takes three to tango...or at least make biscuits and gravy.
40. burt’s bees chapstick. i like my smooth lips. dave likes them more.
41. my upbringing. i guess it would be easier to say my parents, but that doesn’t really cover it all.
42. mylicon drops. praise God for mylicon drops! without them, my little has terrible gas pains. this translates to super fussy-britches and not being able to sleep...any of us.
43. music. it’s what i do. it’s who i am. i experience God and all things beautiful with music.
44. head bands keep my hair out of the reaching fingers of a very curious little.
45. old quilts that need to be repaired. they have character, life, and a very precious story.
46. five iron frenzy (a ska band) keeps my little calm during car rides. not sure why or how, but they do. i’ll take that over ‘twinkle twinkle’ any day.
47. the way you place your hands behind your head, just like a grown up, when you’re taking a nap.
48. two cats that get my furniture super, duper hairy!
49. feeling the wind whip my hair around my face and hearing the leaves sound a little dry in preparation for their changing.
50. chewy rolaids. do i need to say anything else?
1. i will never forget cuddling with you and your daddy in our big bed while it rained. you snuggled your head into the crook of your daddy’s neck and i laid my sleepy head on his chest. that was a spectacular morning.
2. finding the perfect coffee mug in a thrift store and turning it into MY mug.
3. the way your eyes get heavy when i’m singing “time in a bottle” to you. you cozy against my chest and stare right through to my heart until those eyelids finally drop.
4. cheese and bread: the perfect breakfast, lunch, dinner, or snack
5. a blank page in my journal and a felt tipped pen. many a secret gets written into those pages. i’m glad that no one is tempted to read it.
6. reading the words of ky author, silas house. his words drip like honey: slow, smooth, and sweet.
7. my guitar sounds sweeter when there is a little one near by to listen to me play.
8. my ‘stoltzfus’ voice that carries farther than it probably should. i’ll teach my son to sing from the belly!
9. it is burned in to my memory the way dave’s arm feels when it is wrapped around me in our messy bed. the way his warm breath feels against my neck.
10. i pray that perfect coffee and misty mornings are in Heaven.
11. i love going in circles as i talk to my dad about this and that and life.
12. my aunt rosie’s whoopie pies. i hope those are in Heaven as well.
13. laying my head close to your little rosebud mouth just to hear your breath.
14. the the first time i touched you. rubbed my finger against your tiny face. Heaven.
15. oscillating fans. enough said.
16. sitting on a porch swing while a thunderstorm comes my way.
17. the cold tickle of an ice cold pop when it’s a million degrees outside.
18. eating my second breakfast with my little curled up beside me after he has eaten his second breakfast.
19. apple computers. they make my world go ‘round.
20. cuddling with my little family on clean sheets after a hot shower.
21. i look forward to the times when your little eyes finally close and i just have to ‘keep an ear on you.’ my attention then turns to your daddy, and his to me.
22. discovering that i actually like my coffee without all the sweet stuff. i even like it black! it’s amazing when you don’t drink the stuff for nine months how good it tastes when you finally do drink it.
23. reading the first chapter of a book while standing in the shop.
24. perusing the children’s section of the book shop with an actual child to buy for.
25. crooked smiles
26. even though i thought i would hate being home all the time, i’m loving this new stay at home momma life.
27. kettle corn
28. tripping on a pile of books because i don’t have any more room on the bookcases.
29. moving back to the hills. who would have ever thought i would be grateful for that?
30. remembering how my dad switched from daddy to preacher, in a snap, at my wedding.
31. sleeping at my mom’s house...if i’m sleeping there, that means she’s probably going to cook for me!
32. front loading washing machines
33. the ability to create
34. modern medicine. without it, my little would not be here.
35. being woke up by a squiggly baby and sharing a lovely view of the bluest sky ever.
36. making it work when it seems like it’s impossible.
37. friends who drop everything to listen to me gush about about my little’s first smile.
38. the color black, whether it is truly slimming or it’s just all in my head.
39. there is no way that i could forget the ‘dances’ that dave and i do in the kitchen. in our current situation, it takes three to tango...or at least make biscuits and gravy.
40. burt’s bees chapstick. i like my smooth lips. dave likes them more.
41. my upbringing. i guess it would be easier to say my parents, but that doesn’t really cover it all.
42. mylicon drops. praise God for mylicon drops! without them, my little has terrible gas pains. this translates to super fussy-britches and not being able to sleep...any of us.
43. music. it’s what i do. it’s who i am. i experience God and all things beautiful with music.
44. head bands keep my hair out of the reaching fingers of a very curious little.
45. old quilts that need to be repaired. they have character, life, and a very precious story.
46. five iron frenzy (a ska band) keeps my little calm during car rides. not sure why or how, but they do. i’ll take that over ‘twinkle twinkle’ any day.
47. the way you place your hands behind your head, just like a grown up, when you’re taking a nap.
48. two cats that get my furniture super, duper hairy!
49. feeling the wind whip my hair around my face and hearing the leaves sound a little dry in preparation for their changing.
50. chewy rolaids. do i need to say anything else?
Thursday, September 16, 2010
with the risk of sounding like a broken record...
i'm going to do another post about being a mom. hey, don't hate! i'm new to this new thing called being a momma and it kind of takes up a lot of my thinking time.
i'm not going to lie. i never thought i would be a stay at home momma. i always thought i would be the working mom. the mom who worked 7:30 am - 3:00 pm (being a teacher), came home, snuggled a baby, kissed a husband, baked cookies, washed two loads of laundry, played with a baby while all that is happening and then snuggle with The Poet in bed while we talked about our day.
well, that's not quite how it worked out. actually that picture that is painted in the previous paragraph isn't even close to what our day is like right now. here's a glimpse into the day of sarah, The Poet, and Dutch:
6:00 am - Dutch cries, momma feeds him
6:20 ish - momma changes a very wet, full diaper
6:30 ish - dutch and momma go downstairs for some momma appropriate breakfast. dutch gets put in the mei tai carrier and momma eats some cereal and roams around the internet.
7:00 ish - play time on the activity mat which sometimes includes reading books and rolling from our tummies to our backs
7:30 ish - family snuggle time in the bed which usually always ends up in all three of us taking a nap
10:00 ish - we have second breakfast (with a nod to pippin!) a change of diaper, and dutch gets put in the mei tai again.
from here on out it's eat every 3-4 hours, do laundry, wash bottles, make silly faces, box the elephant, pass the baby back and forth (because whoever is holding him when he starts grunting has to change the poopy mess!), and packing up boxes for our move.
8:00 pm ish - start the bedtime routine. it's either a bath in the infant tub from The Poet or in the shower with mommy, book, bottle, swaddle, bottom patted (Dutch's not mine) until eyes get heavy, then he's down for the count!
9:00 pm ish - let the husband wife time commence!
exciting huh?
anyway, a list...just because i still have words running around in my head and i'm not sleepy! WHY AM I NOT SLEEPY!
-people really should mind their own business. if i choose to wear my baby in a carrier, it is my choice. i'm not putting my son in danger, so back off lady!
-i never knew baby drool would be so cute. (get back to me on that in a few days when the newness wears off and i've changed about one billion outfits due to them all being soaked from the waist up)
-babies somehow make everything better
-i still hate doing laundry. even if it is full of cute little clothes and perfect little socks. still don't like folding it!
-i am a fan of pen to paper writing. something about it soothes me. i've started a 'Dear Silas' journal where i'm writing letters and memories and pasting pictures and his first band aids. i'm weird.
-i'm done. going to force my eyes closed!
i'm not going to lie. i never thought i would be a stay at home momma. i always thought i would be the working mom. the mom who worked 7:30 am - 3:00 pm (being a teacher), came home, snuggled a baby, kissed a husband, baked cookies, washed two loads of laundry, played with a baby while all that is happening and then snuggle with The Poet in bed while we talked about our day.
well, that's not quite how it worked out. actually that picture that is painted in the previous paragraph isn't even close to what our day is like right now. here's a glimpse into the day of sarah, The Poet, and Dutch:
6:00 am - Dutch cries, momma feeds him
6:20 ish - momma changes a very wet, full diaper
6:30 ish - dutch and momma go downstairs for some momma appropriate breakfast. dutch gets put in the mei tai carrier and momma eats some cereal and roams around the internet.
7:00 ish - play time on the activity mat which sometimes includes reading books and rolling from our tummies to our backs
7:30 ish - family snuggle time in the bed which usually always ends up in all three of us taking a nap
10:00 ish - we have second breakfast (with a nod to pippin!) a change of diaper, and dutch gets put in the mei tai again.
from here on out it's eat every 3-4 hours, do laundry, wash bottles, make silly faces, box the elephant, pass the baby back and forth (because whoever is holding him when he starts grunting has to change the poopy mess!), and packing up boxes for our move.
8:00 pm ish - start the bedtime routine. it's either a bath in the infant tub from The Poet or in the shower with mommy, book, bottle, swaddle, bottom patted (Dutch's not mine) until eyes get heavy, then he's down for the count!
9:00 pm ish - let the husband wife time commence!
exciting huh?
anyway, a list...just because i still have words running around in my head and i'm not sleepy! WHY AM I NOT SLEEPY!
-people really should mind their own business. if i choose to wear my baby in a carrier, it is my choice. i'm not putting my son in danger, so back off lady!
-i never knew baby drool would be so cute. (get back to me on that in a few days when the newness wears off and i've changed about one billion outfits due to them all being soaked from the waist up)
-babies somehow make everything better
-i still hate doing laundry. even if it is full of cute little clothes and perfect little socks. still don't like folding it!
-i am a fan of pen to paper writing. something about it soothes me. i've started a 'Dear Silas' journal where i'm writing letters and memories and pasting pictures and his first band aids. i'm weird.
-i'm done. going to force my eyes closed!
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