dishes

there is a certain time of day when i can’t do the dishes. it’s not because i am lazy or am procrastinating. the only thing that keeps me from the sink is the blinding sun. it starts its sinking right over my house and by five o’clock it is staring me right in the face as i plunge my hands into the hot, soapy water. i’ve tried pulling the shade down low, but that makes for boring work. i prefer to watch the occasional car make its way down the curvy hill and the limbs of the trees shake with the breeze. it would be a shame to cover up the window with a curtain.

so, i linger over dinner with The Poet. i drink an extra cup of coffee. i bang toys on the high chair tray with Dutch. i hold Dutch in the crook of my arm and turn page after page of my current book. until the sun starts dipping below the dark trees and starts scattering peach and lavender light across the sky. i don my apron and then i can turn on the hot water and squirt lime ajax into the steaming stream.

sometimes, after i wipe down my counters and The Poet is drying and putting away the dishes, i’ll wipe my hands on my apron and survey the kitchen. i feel like i’ve stepped back in time and i fancy myself a 1950’s housewife (except there is no way the The Poet would be helping with the dishes in the 50’s). i take pride in the cleanliness of my floors and counters. i swear, when i put on that apron i...i don’t know.

i wonder how long this will last. how long can i be content without connection to the world? i connect to the internet a couple times a week when i visit my parents. i check my voice mail while i’m hear as well. how long will i be able to put on that apron and feel transported and enjoy doing the dishes. i feel like a character out of book.

i know that it won’t last. i know that eventually i’ll just look at my dishes and REALLY not want to do them. i know that eventually i’ll look at my floors and not want to sweep them. but for now, i’ll keep pretending that i’m a character out of a Silas House novel and i’ll take pride in my squeaky clean dishes and floors.

happy sunday!

we are getting ready to leave out little vacation nook, but i thought i'd wish you all a happy sunday! so...

happy sunday!
from the poet, dutch, and me

learning

there are many things that i have discovered while being completely disconnected from the world (i have no television or internet at our new place). i’m learning that devoting almost every waking moment to my son is as rewarding as anything that i have done in my life. i’m learning that i feel a great sense of accomplishment by doing seven loads of laundry and only running the dryer twice. thus making my laundry smell amazing and saving money because i didn’t run the dryer that much.

i’m learning that wearing a baby keeps us all happy and i can get soooo much more accomplished. i’m also learning what cries mean what. there is a certain hungry cry, a change me cry, a hold me please cry, and a i’m so sleepy cry. i often wonder how i’m learning all these things so much easier now. is it because i am closeted away from civilization and don’t have eight million distractions, or if it’s just my motherly instinct kicking in.

i’m learning to live slower. to take my time over dinner and to have conversations with my husband while we do the supper dishes. i’m learning what it means to actually be still.

i’m relearning what it sounds like to go to bed without hearing sirens and being able to see even the tiniest stars because it’s so dark that they even show up.

i guess i’m just learning to be a mom, a wife, and me. i’m learning to enjoy life to the fullest.