Tuesday, July 27, 2010

new mommy stuff

it has been an amazing three and a half weeks. i do not know what the future holds for me and my little family, but i know that we'll make it through.

the bean is doing soooo well. even though we had to quit breastfeeding (due to a myriad of issues) he is gaining weight, eating, and pooping like a champ. oh the pooping! sometimes i wonder if it will ever end...

i am still unemployed and it's amazing the amount of pride i have had to swallow in the last month to make sure the bean is taken care of. the poet had already left work, several months ago, with the prospect of being a stay at home dad, so that leaves two of us being unemployed. but only one of us (me) qualifies for unemployment. so now we are reassessing the situation. what do we do? where do we go from here?

the prospect of moving and having to break the lease here is daunting, but it looks like it will probably be necessary. i like our little house, but...well...

so here's to admitting defeat. admitting that maybe i'm not in the place that i'm supposed to be in. admitting that i can't do this on my own. admitting that maybe i may have to go back home. to small town, ky and live very close to my parents. even though i love them with my whole heart, i'm not sure i want to be that close again.

anyway, i'm just letting these words out into the void. clearing some space inside my head. do not think that my life is horrible right now. in some aspects i've never been happier. i've got the bean, the poet, and the two cats. i've got a roof over my head, food in my belly, and i can steal internet from my neighbors. things aren't as bad as they seem...maybe...

i don't know what the future holds, but i do know who holds the future!

1 comment:

  1. So true. You have it all. Everything will work out. :)