two things i am over the moon about

1. i'm having a baby on thursday!!! well, as long as the induction goes the way it is supposed to. The Bean will be making his appearance sometime after 6:00 am on july 1. we're getting nervous and excited and terrified and joyous...all at one time! The Poet and i have been laying in bed just talking about him. saying the same things over and over, but never getting tired of saying them. or hearing them.

2. harry potter and the deathly hallows. i watched the trailer at least five times last night and have done the same thing this morning. i just can't get enough! i'm slightly obsessed with the whole franchise. i ADORE the books, LOVE the movies, can't wait to visit the theme park, went to midnight releases for most of the books and movies. i'm a 27 year old fan girl. and i'm perfectly okay with that. i'm already planning the date night that The Poet and i will have on the release night of this movie. i'll get a babysitter, we'll go to our favorite eatery, watch the first part of the deathly hallows, and then spend the next five days discussing each and every little detail of the movie. OH I CAN'T WAIT!

and for your viewing pleasure, the trailer:

overwhelmed

tonight, as i lay in bed trying desperately to go to sleep, i was tempted to start to worry and stress. the logical part of my brain was telling me that i was normal, and justified, in being worried and stressed. i mean, i'm having a baby a week from thursday, i don't have a job, my insurance runs out at the end of july, and i'm having a baby a week from thursday. did i mention that i'm having a baby a week from thursday and i don't have a job? so i gave in to temptation and started to worry. bad move, but it happened. i drug myself out of bed so that my shaking sobs wouldn't wake The Poet and i went to the nursery. i sat in the rocker and cried. cried for my baby. cried because i'm not sure if i'll be able to make it through labor. cried because i don't have a job, and that worries me like no other. cried because i was wondering what my purpose in this life was. then i cried some more.

finally through the tears, i started to pray. now you praying people out there were probably already screaming at your screens for me to just pray already...but you know how it goes. anyway, i prayed. the same prayer that i've prayed many times in the past two months. prayed for guidance and strength. i prayed for faith and courage. then i grabbed my Bible and prayed for a passage to help me feel a little better. and you know what i was led to? nothing in the Bible at all. as i flipped through the pages trying to find a psalm to soothe me or a passage that pertained to lilies and sparrows not having to worry, so why should i, all i could think of were two little volumes of poetry that i had on our book shelf.

the first was a VERY battered copy of 100 selected poems, by e.e. cummings


the other, also very battered, was a copy of someone else to love, by Susan Polis Schutz. (i couldn't find a copy online to get a good pic of, so here's a pic of my copy.)


both books are very slim. i probably could have read both of them all the way through, but a few of the poems just kept running through my head so i had to read them. and they spoke to me. soothed me. allowed me to breathe again. i am convinced that i would not have found this comfort in the pages of my Bible. this comfort from 'real' people in words that i completely, 100% understand, couldn't be found in the Psalms tonight.

so, tonight, i thank God for the comfort He gives through other's words. the comfort that is passed on through His given gifts. tonight i can breathe again because of e.e.'s leaping greenly spirits of trees and susan's thoughts on a child of the mountains.

and later, i will lay my head back on my pillow, curl my arm around The Poet and sleep the sleep of a calm, yet somehow overwhelmed, pregnant woman. who chooses today (again) to let go and let God.

10 things i love about summer vacation

i'm a teacher and, of course, have my summers off. i love summer. not just because it's a non-work environment, but because of all the things you do in summer that you don't get to experience most times out of the year. so without further ado, 10 things i love about summer:

1. random thunderstorms that spring up out of nowhere and present the perfect conditions for a nap.
2. sleeping until i wake up, without the assistance of an alarm clock.
3. snuggling on the couch with The Poet and the cats.
4. iced coffee. i normally am a 'drink it hot' kind of girl, but in the sweltering humidity of kentucky and icy cold beverage is WONDERFUL.
5. baseball
6. cookouts/barbecues
7. turning on the AC at night and cuddling under a blanket.
8. fireflies
9. summer blockbusters
10. fresh fruit. the prices are always so much better in the summer. not to mention the taste!

just a few more weeks

i am almost dying! the anticipation of this baby being here, finally, is just...well, i don't know how to describe it. i want him to stay a little bit longer. safe inside me where he's protected from everything. then there's the other part of me that is so ready to see his little face, count his fingers and toes, and learn his every little mannerism as they develop.

the hubs and i are taking full advantage of these next few, precious days. we're napping and not setting an alarm clock. we're tangling the covers around our legs and laying in bed for hours. we're watching our favorite movies and eating popcorn and peanuts. we talk, about everything, until the wee hours of the morning and then we just keep on talking until one of us falls asleep. it feels like how it felt right after we got married. new and exciting and we both wanted each others FULL attention. i guess the addition of a new life brings that out in people.

if i am completely honest with myself, and that's the point of this blog, i'm terrified. excited, yes, but still terrified. what if i can't make it through labor? what if the pain is just too much? what if i can't get him to breastfeed properly and he just won't take a bottle? what if i get so overwhelmed that depression threatens to take over my life like it has in the past? there, i admitted some of my fears. maybe that will help when the time comes. let's hope!

here's wishing the best for you, and me, in the coming weeks!

a new start...

i am not really a newbie to this blogging thing, but i felt the need for a new start. i have a different blog that i will probably keep updating as well, but i need...well, wide open spaces, to quote the dixie chicks. i need to be where everyone doesn't know my name and i can be honest with myself and with you, oh beautiful void of the internet. if i don't have readers, i don't have readers. if i do happen to gain some, well then AWESOME! but for now, i'm content in my own little corner of the world with just a cup of coffee and a blank screen. that sounds like a great way to start a-fresh!

so now, introductions:

i'm sarah. just sarah. no last name attached. there have to be a million sarahs in the world and i happen to be one of them. i've been married for four years and we're expecting our first son to make his appearance any day now! i am always in need of a latte (hence the name of this blog) and i'm a musician.

that's all for now folks. more later...i promise!