i am almost dying! the anticipation of this baby being here, finally, is just...well, i don't know how to describe it. i want him to stay a little bit longer. safe inside me where he's protected from everything. then there's the other part of me that is so ready to see his little face, count his fingers and toes, and learn his every little mannerism as they develop.
the hubs and i are taking full advantage of these next few, precious days. we're napping and not setting an alarm clock. we're tangling the covers around our legs and laying in bed for hours. we're watching our favorite movies and eating popcorn and peanuts. we talk, about everything, until the wee hours of the morning and then we just keep on talking until one of us falls asleep. it feels like how it felt right after we got married. new and exciting and we both wanted each others FULL attention. i guess the addition of a new life brings that out in people.
if i am completely honest with myself, and that's the point of this blog, i'm terrified. excited, yes, but still terrified. what if i can't make it through labor? what if the pain is just too much? what if i can't get him to breastfeed properly and he just won't take a bottle? what if i get so overwhelmed that depression threatens to take over my life like it has in the past? there, i admitted some of my fears. maybe that will help when the time comes. let's hope!