moving

we're moving. we're all boxed up, made a gazillion trips from big town, ky to little town, ky. we've got one more trip to make. i'm excited to basically be out of big town. we've been living out of a bag the past couple of days as we are in between places. can't wait until it's all done!

we were planning on renting a place in little town for a few months while a place right beside my parents was being remodeled. WELLLLLL, at the last possible second The Poet and I decided to rent a medium-ish farm house with a SPECTACULAR yard, a place for a garden, horses next door, a porch swing, and a large kitchen. it's in the middle of no-where, very peaceful, and i'm a happy momma!

that's all for now!

fifty things i am grateful for

*after i read all these, i realized anytime that i was referring to silas, i said you. just fyi!

1. i will never forget cuddling with you and your daddy in our big bed while it rained. you snuggled your head into the crook of your daddy’s neck and i laid my sleepy head on his chest. that was a spectacular morning.
2. finding the perfect coffee mug in a thrift store and turning it into MY mug.
3. the way your eyes get heavy when i’m singing “time in a bottle” to you. you cozy against my chest and stare right through to my heart until those eyelids finally drop.
4. cheese and bread: the perfect breakfast, lunch, dinner, or snack
5. a blank page in my journal and a felt tipped pen. many a secret gets written into those pages. i’m glad that no one is tempted to read it.
6. reading the words of ky author, silas house. his words drip like honey: slow, smooth, and sweet.
7. my guitar sounds sweeter when there is a little one near by to listen to me play.
8. my ‘stoltzfus’ voice that carries farther than it probably should. i’ll teach my son to sing from the belly!
9. it is burned in to my memory the way dave’s arm feels when it is wrapped around me in our messy bed. the way his warm breath feels against my neck.
10. i pray that perfect coffee and misty mornings are in Heaven.
11. i love going in circles as i talk to my dad about this and that and life.
12. my aunt rosie’s whoopie pies. i hope those are in Heaven as well.
13. laying my head close to your little rosebud mouth just to hear your breath.
14. the the first time i touched you. rubbed my finger against your tiny face. Heaven.
15. oscillating fans. enough said.
16. sitting on a porch swing while a thunderstorm comes my way.
17. the cold tickle of an ice cold pop when it’s a million degrees outside.
18. eating my second breakfast with my little curled up beside me after he has eaten his second breakfast.
19. apple computers. they make my world go ‘round.
20. cuddling with my little family on clean sheets after a hot shower.
21. i look forward to the times when your little eyes finally close and i just have to ‘keep an ear on you.’ my attention then turns to your daddy, and his to me.
22. discovering that i actually like my coffee without all the sweet stuff. i even like it black! it’s amazing when you don’t drink the stuff for nine months how good it tastes when you finally do drink it.
23. reading the first chapter of a book while standing in the shop.
24. perusing the children’s section of the book shop with an actual child to buy for.
25. crooked smiles
26. even though i thought i would hate being home all the time, i’m loving this new stay at home momma life.
27. kettle corn
28. tripping on a pile of books because i don’t have any more room on the bookcases.
29. moving back to the hills. who would have ever thought i would be grateful for that?
30. remembering how my dad switched from daddy to preacher, in a snap, at my wedding.
31. sleeping at my mom’s house...if i’m sleeping there, that means she’s probably going to cook for me!
32. front loading washing machines
33. the ability to create
34. modern medicine. without it, my little would not be here.
35. being woke up by a squiggly baby and sharing a lovely view of the bluest sky ever.
36. making it work when it seems like it’s impossible.
37. friends who drop everything to listen to me gush about about my little’s first smile.
38. the color black, whether it is truly slimming or it’s just all in my head.
39. there is no way that i could forget the ‘dances’ that dave and i do in the kitchen. in our current situation, it takes three to tango...or at least make biscuits and gravy.
40. burt’s bees chapstick. i like my smooth lips. dave likes them more.
41. my upbringing. i guess it would be easier to say my parents, but that doesn’t really cover it all.
42. mylicon drops. praise God for mylicon drops! without them, my little has terrible gas pains. this translates to super fussy-britches and not being able to sleep...any of us.
43. music. it’s what i do. it’s who i am. i experience God and all things beautiful with music.
44. head bands keep my hair out of the reaching fingers of a very curious little.
45. old quilts that need to be repaired. they have character, life, and a very precious story.
46. five iron frenzy (a ska band) keeps my little calm during car rides. not sure why or how, but they do. i’ll take that over ‘twinkle twinkle’ any day.
47. the way you place your hands behind your head, just like a grown up, when you’re taking a nap.
48. two cats that get my furniture super, duper hairy!
49. feeling the wind whip my hair around my face and hearing the leaves sound a little dry in preparation for their changing.
50. chewy rolaids. do i need to say anything else?

with the risk of sounding like a broken record...

i'm going to do another post about being a mom. hey, don't hate! i'm new to this new thing called being a momma and it kind of takes up a lot of my thinking time.

i'm not going to lie. i never thought i would be a stay at home momma. i always thought i would be the working mom. the mom who worked 7:30 am - 3:00 pm (being a teacher), came home, snuggled a baby, kissed a husband, baked cookies, washed two loads of laundry, played with a baby while all that is happening and then snuggle with The Poet in bed while we talked about our day.

well, that's not quite how it worked out. actually that picture that is painted in the previous paragraph isn't even close to what our day is like right now. here's a glimpse into the day of sarah, The Poet, and Dutch:

6:00 am - Dutch cries, momma feeds him
6:20 ish - momma changes a very wet, full diaper
6:30 ish - dutch and momma go downstairs for some momma appropriate breakfast. dutch gets put in the mei tai carrier and momma eats some cereal and roams around the internet.
7:00 ish - play time on the activity mat which sometimes includes reading books and rolling from our tummies to our backs
7:30 ish - family snuggle time in the bed which usually always ends up in all three of us taking a nap
10:00 ish - we have second breakfast (with a nod to pippin!) a change of diaper, and dutch gets put in the mei tai again.
from here on out it's eat every 3-4 hours, do laundry, wash bottles, make silly faces, box the elephant, pass the baby back and forth (because whoever is holding him when he starts grunting has to change the poopy mess!), and packing up boxes for our move.
8:00 pm ish - start the bedtime routine. it's either a bath in the infant tub from The Poet or in the shower with mommy, book, bottle, swaddle, bottom patted (Dutch's not mine) until eyes get heavy, then he's down for the count!
9:00 pm ish - let the husband wife time commence!

exciting huh?

anyway, a list...just because i still have words running around in my head and i'm not sleepy! WHY AM I NOT SLEEPY!

-people really should mind their own business. if i choose to wear my baby in a carrier, it is my choice. i'm not putting my son in danger, so back off lady!
-i never knew baby drool would be so cute. (get back to me on that in a few days when the newness wears off and i've changed about one billion outfits due to them all being soaked from the waist up)
-babies somehow make everything better
-i still hate doing laundry. even if it is full of cute little clothes and perfect little socks. still don't like folding it!
-i am a fan of pen to paper writing. something about it soothes me. i've started a 'Dear Silas' journal where i'm writing letters and memories and pasting pictures and his first band aids. i'm weird.
-i'm done. going to force my eyes closed!

becoming un-anonymous

there is a fresh pot of coffee that i just poured a perfect cup from, i have a squiggly baby in my lap and my husband is off doing something...hopefully packing. so far today is a spectacular day!

i started this blog so that i could be anonymous. i wanted to write what i wanted, when i wanted, and didn't want anyone from my real life to know about it. then i realized that i wasn't writing anything that i wanted to hide and if i needed write something extremely personal, i went to old faithful: my real journal. you know, the kind you write in with a pen! i also made the mistake of following a few family members' blogs with this account. but like i said before. no big deal.

i still update my other blog, but i find that i like this one better. so here i am. let me re-introduce myself.

i'm sarah, wife to dave, and momma silas. i am a champion one handed typist and love a good cup of coffee. welcome to my blog. hope you stick around for the long haul!

thursday in the park

today was our first trip to the park. the heat finally settled down and i gathered up all our gear and headed out.

one of the luxuries of being a stay at home mom is getting to go to the park when the light makes my little look like an angel. it bounces off his reddish blond hair and tickles his perfect little toes.

we went for a ride on the swings and his face lit up with a smile the size of california! it was amazing! we lay on blankets in the cool shade of a perfect tree, read books, babbled back and forth, had a picnic (well, he had a bottle) and played the tongue game. he sticks his out, i stick mine out!

i love being The Bean's momma. it gives me purpose. not that i didn't have purpose before, but being unemployed sometimes leaves me feeling...well, purposeless. but then i just look at him! he's the reason i keep doing what we're doing. becoming who we are becoming. together. growing our little family into....our own version of happiness. a happiness that doesn't always come easy. but you know what, we CHOOSE to be happy. it is a choice and we make it daily.

it has been a long journey, getting to this place. and really what is this place but a stop in the long journey towards who we are becoming? this journey that is full of paths that i am proud of and full of dark alleyways that i'm not so proud of. who would i be without those alleys? certainly not this woman. this wife. this momma.

and you know what? i like where i'm going. i like who i am. and by golly, i like this journey we are on!

love,
happy to be sarah!