hormonal mama bear

when elijah came home from the hospital on friday, we had to make an appointment to come see the pediatrician on monday because his billirubin levels were a bit high. so we went to the doctor today. dave and i and both boys. it was an adventure getting out the door to say the least. i would wrangle silas while dave was feeding elijah. then i would hold elijah so i could feed him and pack the diaper bag while dave was dressing silas. then we lost boo (silas's lovey that he HAS to have at all times) and couldn't find my keys. i was surprised we made it on time to our appointment. then when we get there, silas decides it's time to pitch his first public fit and be a general handful the entire time. and let me tell you, the entire time was a LONG time.

we had to have lab work done on elijah to check for his billirubin levels. then we had our appointment and then had wait for the lab results. we were in the exam room for a total of an hour and half. sometimes dave would have to take silas out to the lobby to let him run around and play with the toys and sometimes he would bring him back in the exam room with elijah and i. finally, the pediatrician asked us if we had errands to run and if she could call us. we did have stuff to do before heading home, so we left. we went and ate lunch and were about to go grocery/baby shopping when we got the call. elijah's levels had risen from 12.5 to 18.3. that is a little too close to dangerous levels for mine and our doctor's comfort level and we decided to have elijah admitted to the hospital for observation and to put him under the billi lights.

my mama bear side roared to life as soon as she suggested admittance to the hospital. i immediately bucked against the thought that i hadn't done enough to get his levels to go down on their own. dave talked me down and reminded me that there wasn't much more that i could have done. then when we were admitted i was fighting for him not to have an iv. the nurses wanted to just do one, but i was convinced that he was eating well enough and was hydrated well enough to not need one. finally the nurse called the doctor and she agreed with me! so thankfully, he didn't have to deal with an iv. just the billi lights.

so now, here i sit in the hospital a hormonal wreck. i gave birth five days ago and i'm still pretty sore from my c-section. i can't hold and cuddle my baby but once every three hours for 30 minutes. i'm praying and crying and watching a marathon of pawn stars. i know jaundice isn't that big of a deal, but i can't help but be worried. the nurses think that his levels should go down pretty quickly and i'm praying that they do.

i'm glad we caught this early, but i just want to take my baby home. i miss silas. we were just getting settled into somewhat of a routine and silas was starting to show lots of interest in elijah. he was crawling into my lap and rubbing elijah's head and stroking his face. now i'm afraid that him staying with mom and dad again tonight (possibly tomorrow night) will just set us back. thankfully dave has this week off.

so anyway, if you're praying people, pray for elijah. pray for me. pray for my family.

 

 wrapped up in the billi light thingy

and just because he is beautiful!